Apple Wants You Rich
After decades of swearing by the beauty and the innovation power of every Apple machine I bought (Macintosh 1984, Powerbook 1991, Newton 1993, Powerbook 2000, iPod 2001, Powerbook G4 2006, iPhone 2007), I have to shout it from the inner core of my being: I hate Apple, the 2010 Apple that has been messing up with people since the last three years. The iPhone truly put me off where it came to its disappointing mobile telephony performance. About a week ago the iPad and its tacky, cultish PR tactics have finally churned my already very upset stomach, which is bullshit-intolerant. Go fly a kite, Apple. You ain’t going to get a penny from my hard-earned money because, frankly, my dear, you’ve gone too far with your self-indulgence and forgot the one thing one must never forget in retail: customer comes first.
If you are selling me a phone, please make the best phone in the market, not a gadget that cost me top dollar and still could not do MMS, or video and the battery life made you carry chargers like we were back in 1990. Even with the new model, the oh-so-great 3G, I am still faster using applications than what the iPhone RAM memory can handle. HVA (How Very Annoying).
And the iPad, labelled the “new chicks magnet”. Has anyone got it clear how expensive is going to be to pay for all the mobile gigas that the gadget is going to downstream? Apparently if you can spare £600 to £800 pounds in the darn baby, the mobile data charges must look like peanuts to some.
Steve Jobs is talking right now on the oh-so-exciting keynote. One iPad is being sold every 3 seconds. I thought there were long waiting lists for it.
“We’re going to be in 19 countries by the end of July — we thank everyone for their patience, we’re making iPads as fast as we can. There are now 8.5k native iPad apps in the App Store… they’ve been downloaded 35 million times. That’s about 17 apps per iPad. That’s a GREAT number.”
“Let me show you some of these great apps…” Pulse, Gowalla, eBay, webMD, Iron Man, the list goes on. Showing off Elements… email: “I earned more on the sales of Elements for iPad the first day than on the past 5 years of Google ads on periodictable.com” Heh. Steve: “This is what we LOVE to hear from you guys.” Chuckles.
“I’d like to tell you about one of our apps we’re updating today: iBooks. … I’ve got a few stats for you. In the first 65 days, users have downloaded over 5m books, that’s about 2.5 books per iPad, which is terrific.”
“And five of the six biggest publishers in the US tell us that the share of iBooks is up to about 22% — in about 8 weeks! We’re really thrilled with that.”
The whole schpiel can be found here.
I am happy for uncle Steve. Hurrah for him and the overworked Apple developers, who are beaten to a pulp to meet deadlines each year and who live in a constant state of paranoia being spied upon just in case some poor devil decides to leak information outside of the mothership. Bad news for consumers, and for people who would really like to buy a wonderful iPad but need to be EFFING RICH to afford it. For a man that joined an ashram in India and lived for a while hanging out with the Hare Kirshnas in the Valley just to attend their Sundays open-table and be properly fed, technology, rather than being the right of every human, because each of us deserves to be able to access progress and innovation, is a privilege of the few.
It annoys me to no end that a bunch of Richie-richs are showing off their iPads around the globe. Hoping to impress, hoping to get laid or simply trying to give themselves kicks.
In a world desperate to make education more available and to make technology the way of life that will ease hardships, Apple and its great market cap is doing zero, null, nada for social progress. Way to go, not!